Hello.













Oh, you're still here. Why are you here?

It's possible you arrived here becuase you heard about it, on, well, only every forum, website and email you've ever perceived.

But that's unrealistic.

It's also possible you came here because you know me personally.(yes, I am a Human being, I eat and, on special occasions, sleep) But I'm much too shy to tell my freinds about my moonlit internet frolicks; this is exacerbated by the fact that I don't have any friends.

And of course, you may have been stumbling through a fog of boredom and come upon this oasis of satire and wit by complete chance (or maybe fate). But that is just illogical. In today's society with Himalayas of facts and bits of juicy info at your fingertips, who has time to be bored?

Yes, there is only one logical conclusion. You aren't reading this. Noone is and noone will. So why, you may ask, are you taking the time to type all this if noone will read it?

Naturally, I can't answer this question, just as this question can't be asked. It is impossible.

So why am I telling you all of this if "you" don't exist?

Well, like I said, I don't have any friends...